Everybody has a different level of confidence, some people have a lower level and some people have a higher level. When you have very low self-confidence it will negatively impact you in your personal and professional life. Somebody who has high-level confidence will benefit him whether it’s his career or social life.
But don’t worry, confidence skill is built and made you don’t have to fake it like abusing your self. Just be honest that you’re not confident and this area needs improvement. I in the past is not a confident person. Always stay in the corner if there is a party, always silent even I need to speak. But they all are something I can learn whatever times I need.
If you’re an introverted person just like my past self, then this writing is for you. It’s important to train your mentality to become habitual confident, so you will build your confidence level to achieve a great level. You don’t have to use an affirmative technique that some people use. Try to say “I’m confident 100 times” won’t help you become confident.
Affirmative methods only work in a short time, then after hours, you will become not confident because you still need to work. So if the affirmative technique isn’t working then what is the effective methods out there? Well, I can’t say I have the best methods, but I will share what works for me in the past until now where I’m confident naturally.
Firstly acknowledge the truth that you’re not confident, if you’re pretending to be confident while you’re not is a big mistake. Accept that you need to work on this area. After you being honest to yourself then commit to yourself that you will train up your weakness whatever time it takes. Write in the paper that you will be a confident person.
Secondly, download a self-confidence image on google and make it your phone, laptop wallpaper. This is a totally passive method to set your mind to receive input. So whenever you’re using your phone you will see it, when you’re using your laptop you will see it. This is the opposite method of affirmative technique, with an affirmative technique you will using active input only then forgetting your input while seeing every time confidence image wallpaper will easy naturally input your mind so you’re always aware that this goal about increasing your confidence will be achieved.
Third, question your self why you want to become a confident person, do you want to have a rich social life, become attractive, become popular, etc. reason is one of the most motivators in gaining skill, you will become lazy and confused if you aren’t clear about your values. In the past, my motivation why I train my confidence is because I want to become attractive. Even now I don’t believe in you must be an attractive person to attract your girlfriend/boyfriend. But at that time it was a powerful motivator for me. And now I’m always speaking with confidence in front of people.
Fourth, make a confident friend and spend more time with him. If you’re interested in improving your skill you hang out with a nonconfident person you will have a hard time with leveling up. I believe that external source is helpful to our growth. Go make friend with people that you consider he/she confident and spend more time with them.
Fifth don’t pace yourself too hard, make yourself learn with it naturally, make your journey fun and exciting don’t pressure yourself as if you fail you will feel bad. You will fail a lot, every skill needs failure and that’s how you gain experience. Train yourself be fail and be okay. People say it takes 10000 hours to achieve mastery. Fortunately, confidence skill is shorter than that.
Sixth become a leader in the group. Whenever you’re a student, worker, or entrepreneur. There will always a social group in your life. You can challenge yourself to become more active in the group and take the position of leader, or other position that has some kind of authority in the group. This will make you attract more attention and you will be dealing with many people. You will forcibly train to handle things and solve problems. A social group is one of the most connected people have in their life.
Seventh, dreaming and imagining what would happen when you succeed to become a self-confident person. You may imagine you will have an easy girlfriend, boyfriend, or you will have many friends, etc. as Einstein’s quote imagine is powerful than logic. Your logic can’t see, but your imagination can feel. So dream as you can but don’t overdo it. Balance imagine with action.
Eight, remind your past achievement. Maybe you’re a great gamer or Olympic athlete every person is great at whatever his passion is. Remind yourself if you can be great at your current strongest skill then you can build another skill. If you can play games excellently then you can another skill, you can use your strongest areas to remind you that you’re capable of growing. Just in a different part of your life that needs attention.
Ninth, challenge yourself every day. What situation that you fear? If you’re fear of talking to many people then go on stage tell a story about yourself in the classroom. If you’re fearful of being judged then let them judge you. You have nothing to defend. Always go where you’re fearful of it will pointing you to directions of growth.
Lastly, nothing beats perseverance. Even you do all your best and still, you not confident you just need don’t give up. Yes, this classic advice is contained truth in it. You may train yourself and you feel awkward don’t worry people will understand you more than you know. If some people talk to me and I feel they are awkward shy and timid I will understand them, not make them feel bad. Of course, you will encounter failure a LOT, and that is not a big deal because perseverance is a won solution. Until then stay confident.